I am a father of two kids a boy and a girl. They are young in age only six and four years old. Virtually at the begining of thier lives. What saddens me more than anything is that I have not been in their lives as much as I would like. I have lived with both of them only for short periods of time, but nothing that, in my mind, I would consider substantial amount of time. THis has caused me great pain. This is also the main thing that keeps me close to God. So in a sense what causes me the the most pain is the one that keep me contiueually seeking Him. I have to admit from time to time the pressures of life get to me and I find it hard to handle such a heavy burden. The weight of me not being the man and the father that I thought I would be gets to me and i often become depressed and distant. From friends and even family members.
My Pastor has been challenging all the members to do five minutes of studying in the morning and five minutes before we go to bed. Now, five minutes, by most standards, is not that much time and it would seem everyone could do this. I have to be honest, I have found this to be a bit of a challenge. Not because the desire is not there, but because of all the things of life I have distracting me. Mostly it has been the thought of being away from my children, but it doesn't take much for us to talk ourselves out of things. This week I have been attempting to live up to this challenge and read both in the morning and at night. Then I take time to pray and hear from God. To help me out in the study of the scriptures is the "Our Daily Bread" books. On this particular day I came across a verse that spoke volumes to me and my situation.
The verse was Philippians 3:12-16, but I really want to focus on the thirteenth and fourteenth verses. Which read, "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead. I press on towards the goal and win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" I really feel these verses could be a blessing to all of us. All of us have done things we weren't necessarily proud of. From time to time these ghost, from the past, come up and haunt you much the way my past haunts me. If you look at what the Apostle Paul was saying it should give you great encouragement. From reading this I realized that I can no longer let my past haunt me
God has a plan for all of our lives and once you get save he is no longer concerned with what you have done before you came to Christ. If we use the writer for an example God took his greatest gift which was his zeal for doing what he thought right and used it to build his church. I am in no way suggesting that my faith or walk is like the Apostle Paul, like him I have a past, but unlike him I let my past trouble me. We all need to let go of our past because it is all forgotten. We need to look towards the future and what God has planned for us. His grace should be sufficient for all of us. I know that it is hard not to think on the mistakes you made, but it is when you do as I have and let these things weight you down that you miss out on your blessing
I share these things with you my friends because I know how it feels t be burden and troubled. To look back over your life and say "How, did I let things get this far?" but i am here to encourage you and tell you God has forgotten it and so should you. Because he can fix it and his grace is sufficient. I am like all of you, a work int progress, and just ask that we all remember that your past is the past for a reason. Romanticizing about things that are no more will get you no where. We have to let go and let God have it.
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